St. John the Baptist gives us this “golden phrase,” in the words of Msgr. Ronald Knox, which captures the essence of humility. No wonder the Master who uniquely pointed to himself on one occasion and said, “learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart” (Matthew 11:29), would praise the Baptist: “I tell you, among those born of women none is greater than John” (Matthew 11:11). Jesus Christ, the God-man, perfectly enfleshes the virtue of humility, which he then commends to his disciples as the path to sanctity and salvation, so clearly summarized and embodied by John.
That path to becoming lowly, ironically, seems a steep, uphill climb. A proven first step lies in accurate, uncompromising, even brutal self-knowledge. If I am going to decrease, then I first must acknowledge how much of me resides selfishly in my soul. I can only undertake the climb if I humbly accept the actual terrain upon which I am standing.
Prepare for the Climb
A few key points before we further consider the practicalities of this path.
First, attaining self-knowledge to climb to the heights of heaven, though an arduous good, as St. Thomas would say, is not a matter of spiritual brute-strength or force, but of a sustained, peaceful labor of love and surrender, after the example of Christ: “Not my will, [Father], but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42). The fruit of that love and surrender will be joy, as promised by the Lord. In the farewell discourse, Jesus assures us, “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11).
Second, we find the goal of the interior life not in self-knowledge, but in Christ-knowledge, by which I mean both “seeing” and “possessing” Christ. Think in terms of Beatitude, the fulfillment of the Christian life that St. Augustine describes this way: “There we shall rest and see, we shall see and love, we shall love and praise” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1720). But this unmerited, incomparably generous gift of God begins now, as one of the Beatitudes encourages us to believe: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8). Thus, we see ourselves best out of the corner of our eye, as Father Edward Leen wrote. In other words, the more I fix my gaze on Christ, the more I will accurately perceive the good and the bad in me.
Finally, that I must decrease so Jesus may increase in my soul is a work of grace that starts at Baptism, which, in turn, the other sacraments sustain and foster. St. Paul explains the paschal character of this grace in a manner that also insightfully describes the purpose of the Christian life and the nature of the spiritual life: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). Paul’s words signify not only a great mystery and a paradox, like much of the Gospel story, but also the content of a divine promise, to be received in the soul through grace in good measure today, and in its fullness in glory in eternity.
Discern and Learn
“But who can discern his errors? Clear thou me from hidden faults” (Psalm 19:12). This piercing line from the Psalms shines a light into the human heart and soul. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt; who can understand it?” Jeremiah laments (17:9). Though the prophet’s words are true and compelling to the poor in spirit, they are not the last word…the Sacred Heart is the last word, as Jesus offers us the hope that our hearts can become more like his.
Cardinal Newman thought that many Christians go through life making no real effort to obtain correct or deep knowledge of their moral or spiritual strengths and weaknesses. They rest content with general or vague impressions of themselves. As a consequence, they impede their growth in faith, and so their union with Christ. Self-knowledge is essential to understand and to be transformed by the truths of the Gospel, and the effort I invest will be rewarded by a greater appreciation and gratitude for the life and teaching of Christ, especially his goodness and mercy. To this end, since a genuine examination—or reexamination—of one’s conscience requires both a process of discerning and of learning, what follows is a series of brief counsels on how to see oneself—one’s soul—with Christ’s eyes.
Returning to the psalmist’s words, how can I know if I have unknown faults?
- Do I see the speck in the eye of another, but not the plank in my own? If I say to someone who is mad, “You are angry, and not thinking clearly,” might that person say in reply, “I am in control!” True? How about if someone says that to me when I am irritated or annoyed? Do I see a generous person and conclude that he or she must be motivated by self-interest? What if someone assumes that about me, how would I react? If I see the evil or sin or human weakness in others, what does God see in me?
- Newman suggests that towering figures of the Old Testament and the New Testament serve as cautionary tales for us. Recall King David, “A man after God’s own heart” (I Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22), yet he succumbed to temptations to pride, lust, and murder. Did not St. Peter overestimate his virtue and underestimate his weakness? Indeed, we do not possess full knowledge about ourselves until we face temptation. A strength or virtue in one area may not prove a surety or safeguard in another.
- The best among us are the most humble, and these noble souls see the disparity between the high standard Christ sets for us and where they stand, what they must surmount, to attain that standard. Humble people know the tangle of their own hearts and are disturbed by it. This is not a strange melancholy, but what follows from a love for truth and goodness, and for Christ himself.
What can we do to both learn and “unlearn” ourselves, as Newman would say, and so decrease that Christ might increase?
- We ask the Lord to help us see our hearts, our souls, as he does, because what the Lord sees is reality. St. Paul describes our limitations, some of which are moral (we do not want to see) and some are ontological (our human capacity is limited). “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known” (1 Corinthians 13:12). We pray that the good God will help us to stand in the light of grace, to see as much as we can. Yet we should beware: it will be a challenge not to flinch—but courage, perseverance, and humility will steady the mind and heart.
- “The greatest treason is to do the right thing for the wrong reason,” another incisive line, this time from T.S. Eliot. To get to the root of my weakness, when I examine my conscience, I must ask myself not just what I did, but why I did it. In doing so, I will invite the divine physician to heal a wound, not simply cauterize it. Where are my motives something other than Christlike? Love prompts me to purify my intentions.
- Experience confirms that we discover more about ourselves in adversity than in prosperity. How do I respond to trials, to suffering? “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church” (Colossians 1:24). This mysterious and richly complex verse from St. Paul deserves its own reflection and essay. But for now, perhaps, we can receive the wisdom of others: the best examination of conscience is the Cross.
- “That’s just the way I am.” No, such thinking does not indicate humility, but its opposite. Yes, we are likely to be more vulnerable to certain sins than others, and our confessions will often cover the same ground. However, the Gospel urges us to steer clear from the danger of simply embracing or resigning ourselves to bad habits or vices. Such would be a lack of faith and of trust in the power of grace. A regular confessor helps us with accountability and strengthening our purpose of amendment.
- I must be on guard for excusing self-indulgence in some sphere, which can lead to repeated sin. Our goal is simplicity, as taught by St. Therese, or, said another way, integrity, where all aspects of my life are in harmony with the life of Jesus. I want to be wary of thinking: “Others are worse, so I am safe.”
- Mental prayer opens my mind to the truth and love of Christ, and for me personally. The Crucified and Risen Christ is the measure of all things, and he knows and loves me most and best. While the Lord understands my frailty, and shows me remarkable compassion, he also sees my potential for greatness, for sanctity, better than I do.
- “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away” (Matthew 24:35). To read, study, and prayerfully reflect on Sacred Scripture is to put on the “mind of Christ” (I Corinthians 2:16). The Gospel is our story, and so fitted for all of the demands of a fallen world. The Sermon on the Mount—especially the Beatitudes, which Pope John Paul called the “self-portrait of Christ” (Veritatis Splendor, 16)—makes an excellent examen, particularly for those who are diligent in keeping the Commandments. A high bar? Yes, but it would offend against the goodness of God for him to require us to do the impossible. For man, it is impossible, but not for God (cf. Matthew 19:26).
- God hates sin. Why? Because it harms and can even destroy the thing he loves most: you and me. This is why sin offends God and why he commands us to avoid it. One thought here: Does my shame in sinning arise from pride, or from the love of God?
- Finally, we can choose particular virtues, both theological (faith, hope, and charity) and cardinal (prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance), in which we ask the Lord to assist us. His words here are consoling and offer hope: “He who does what is good comes to the light” (John 3:21). By choosing virtuous actions, no matter how small or hidden, we grow in the stable disposition to do good…and the desire to be good.
Christ’s Promise Awaits
Our Lord made many promises: that he would rise from the dead; that he would give us the Bread from heaven; that he would not leave us orphans. And he promised: “You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free” (John 8:32). Truths of the faith? Yes. Truth about ourselves? Yes. Both are truths for which we long and for which we were made…and that lead the heart to the peace and joy the world cannot give or take…because they will free us from malice, from self-defeating and even self-destructive behavior, from ignorance and error, from darkness, from selfishness and sin.
“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent, and believe in the gospel” (Mark 1:15). Self-knowledge is necessary, but not sufficient for salvation. To please God, the sincere disciple longs for the Kingdom, deepens faith in Jesus, and repents and puts on the “new man” who is Christ. To achieve these noble aspirations, two things are required: grace and humility.
So we return to where we started, the wisdom and holiness of the Baptist and of his Master. “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart,” as the verse is often rendered. For us to point to ourselves would be a failure in humility, but for Christ to do so invites our attention to what he considers both indispensable and achievable for the children of God.
